I see my roommate on campus.

She works, i walk.

-you have fourteen days to return this. Here's your receipt.

She's busy.

Customers wait in a globular line.

-Next customer please!

I see her,

she sees me.

-Did you find everything all right today?

We wink at each other.

No one notices.

-That will be fifteen dollars and twelve cents, please.

Hidden communications;

All customers oblivious

to our knowledge

of each other.

This secret between us thrills.

I keep QUIet>

Voluminous Pants

I performed today for the Special Speaker Series on campus, so I'm wearing my professional trousers. They flare dramatically at the bottom, making them voluminous. Although the flare makes my bottom look small, sometimes I do feel ridiculous. I wonder how many people think I look like a hippie.

I walk and my pants hula-hoop around my ankles. Back-and-forth, back-and-forth. Yeah, embarrassing. I feel like a clown in a circus that can make my pants perform magic tricks. I have to remind myself that circus and hippie pants are a state of mind...it's a state of mind, Jen...it's all in your head. That's what I tell myself, anyway.

The Ultimate Bet

Why are the 26 letters of our language named the Alphabet? Perhaps there significance in the name "ALPHABET."

The Alphabet.

The Alpha-bet.

The Alpha Bet.

The Ultimate Bet.

Fascinating. Maybe that is the underlaying message. There seems to be a story behind this name. I suspect that the group of Language-Deciders got together and had to figure out the structure of the written language. They agreed that there must be a specific number of letters that could be used and no other letters could be invented after the set number was voted on.

So the Language-Deciders began to debate the number of letters. They debated for long hours, yet nothing was decided. Finally a fragile old woman in the back of the assembly stood up and declared in a loud voice, "Let us place a bet. We shall place a bet on whether I can do 100 push-ups or not. If I can do 100 push-ups, then the number of people betting 'yes' will be the number of letters we have in our language. If I can't do it, then the number of people betting 'no' will be the number of letters."

This seemed like a reasonable idea. The Language-Deciders all agreed. Everyone carefully cast their bets as the old woman prepared for her push-ups. When all was ready, the old woman got on the floor in the push-up position.

"One...two...three...," the Language-Deciders all chanted as the old woman bobbed up and down, "twenty....twenty-one..."

The old woman was doing remarkably well for her age and strength. Most of the assembly hadn't believed she could even get to 30.

"fifty-one...fifty-two...seventy-six...eighty..."

The old woman was about to make it, she was almost to ninety!

"ninety-one...ninety-three..."

But no! The old woman was tiring out, it didn't look like she was going to make it! Go old woman, go! Everyone began chanting, "Go lady go lady go, go lady go lady go!"

From the back a cry was heard, " Don't give up now Doris!" (This, obviously, was her husband...obviously). With a strained effort the old woman continued.

"Ninety-eight..." PLOP! THUD!

The woman crashed to the ground. She couldn't do it. Bummer.

Well, the "no's" won it. And there were 26 of them. So, there are now 26 letters in our alphabet--which came from THE ULTIMATE BET!

Pretty sure that is the story of the alphabet. I wouldn't doubt it. We live in a psycho world; it could totally happen.