Buddy Zone

I have an ability. A power, if you will. I make guys feel comfortable. This is fantastic because I can control the situation to make everyone at ease with themselves. I know how to maneuver in order to avoid awkwardness. Stupendous, right? Not so fast. Like all powers it comes at a price; I become the "buddy" to men. This label is a huge downer on romance. I try desperately not to enter the "buddy zone," but usually I don't know I'm near the vicinity. The worst moment is realizing you've entered unwittingly and you hear those dreaded words, "I met someone..." Those three words can kill a beautiful relationship. I want to halt the guy mid-sentence and say, "How can you do this to me? I worked so hard not to enter the friend-zone and BLAM! My work destroyed. Thanks a lot." Once you've heard those words it's over. Give it up my friends. You've now entered the no-man's-land where there is no return. You can't back out of the friend-zone, it's an endless abyss.


From here I have one option....I convince myself that I enjoy being in the zone. That really it's an honor to be here, that very few females get the view of men from my angle. That these guys are sharing their souls to me in a very intimate, close way--in a way almost as good as being their girlfriend.


It takes me a while to figure out that the buddy gig sucks. That all I really am is a counselor that gives free advice and, as a bonus, plans the activities and pays for everything. Somehow I've inadvertently become the man of this relationship and he's my woman. It's phenomenal how unromantic it is.


Once I feel this way I tend to slowly drift away. I don't ignore or avoid them, I just lose focus of our friendship. I call this the "easy-let-down." A friendly rejection. I should mention that the men never notice the rejection because I was never mysteriously interesting to them. I was just a convenient friend to have when you wanted a girl without paying for her meals. They never feel rejected, which, in my bitter moments, I think is slightly unfortunate. However, the rejection isn't for them it's for me. During the "Rejection Time" I recover my psyche, comfort my pride, and place myself at the steering wheel of this situation. The Rejection Time gives me this stupid idea that I actually controlled the relationship all along, and that the real reason we halted in the friend-zone is because I never liked the guy. That I was in fact rejecting the guy, and I did it so sneakily that I didn't even notice I was doing it. This is my favorite lie that I tell myself because it is such a preposterous claim, yet miraculously I believe myself every time.